Giving gifts is foremost in our minds this holiday season.
Typical gifts during Christmas include toys, gadgets, clothes, food and money. These provide instant comfort, joy and/or good feelings to the recipient.
Have you ever thought about giving a gift that does otherwise…at least initially?
An unusual gift idea is the power to be successful. Ray Dalio in his book “Principles” labeled it as the greatest gift one can give.
Almost no one appreciates and look forward to struggles, difficulties or challenges. Many will not see it as a gift one gives to a friend or loved ones but a penalty or curse that one might wish would befall on enemies.
However, helping someone avoid discomfort & struggle, being the price to pay for achievement of a worthy goal, definitely has unintended consequences far worse than imagined.
Parents who can’t help but intervene on behalf of their children in difficult situations are depriving them of experiences that can make them stronger and better.
Worse than cultivating entitlement mentality is making them weak and lacking in confidence to overcome the smallest of challenges life may throw at them.
This Christmas, how can we allow our children and those dependent on us develop the power to be successful?
- Delay gratification. In a season full of gratifying activities, strategically postponing specific rewards and linking it to replacing a bad habit with a good one would be timely. For example, a big item in a teen’s wish list can be given a few weeks from now after he/she has consistently and satisfactorily performed a chore.
- Allow to find own solutions to personal challenges. A policy that encourage kids to find own ways to entertain or make themselves productive especially this winter break is win-win for both busy parents and restless kids. For example, no one is allowed to complain that he/she is bored in our household, so kids do art, read a book or start any project they like.
- Encourage to go outside own comfort zone. During this season of parties, adult and kids alike have lots of opportunities to expand their experiences. For example, volunteer to decorate the venue with people outside own inner circle, or actively participate in the program and join games in a party if you normally just sit in the corner and remain a spectator during such events.
Remember that taking small steps are vital to developing the skill to go take on struggles, grow stronger, and gain the power to be successful in most anything one might want to achieve.
So please tread lightly and be considerate to anyone who might be stretching to grow. Understand that people are most vulnerable during the struggle.
Will you dare to give the greatest gift to yourself or to the people you care the most?
